Tuesday, 2 March 2010

hard times

I had transplant clinic today. Recently I've been feeling a bit rotten to say the least, no energy, no appetite, a blank mind, low oxygen levels and a fast heart rate. This morning I felt like it was a struggle to even move any distance. From getting up to take my medication I had to lie on my bed before I could even think about getting dressed. I felt so bad this morning that I honestly wondered how much longer I could go on for. With help I managed to do what I needed to and go to transplant clinic. Once seated I rested my arm on a TV stand and closed my eyes from exhaustion of getting from the car to the waiting room. One of the transplant co-ordinators came to take us round to see my consultant and a look of concern instantly came over her face. The appointment was quite brief with a quick summary of what’s been happening, how much I now need my NIV and how much pressure its taking to inflate my lungs and how unwell in general I've become recently.

To sum things up, my time is running out. Without a donor, I'm going to die, soon.
As difficult as it was to hear that I was in that much of a haze from how unwell I'm feeling it didn't have that much of an impact because I thought 'yeh how I'm feeling right at this moment I can believe that'. I left with the image of my consultant crossing his fingers; he was crossing his fingers for my life because that’s all he can do now. In the waiting room on the way out I broke down into tears.

Please, if you believe in organ donation sign up to the register it takes literally 2 minutes and you can do it online, my life and the lives of thousands of others depend on it.

Rachy x


  1. I am thinking of you Rach, and sending positive thoughts your way :) this is something I have spoken of many times on local Radio stations, and hope that more donors will come forward to give the Gift of Life.
    I had my kidney transplant 4 years ago, and I would never wish how I felt when I was ill on my worst enemy.
    I hope you will be healthy very soon, hugs, Susan Louise xxx

  2. I'm so sorry that you had to hear those words Rach. I know you don't know me, but I have followed your story here and there. I have CF and had a double lung and liver transplant on January 31, 2007 and I remember almost those exact words from my doctors when my time was coming to an end too. I had had a large bleed in my lungs, and my doctors told me that if I didn't get the transplant and had another episode of bleeding like that again, I wouln't make it.

    My heart breaks for you, having to hear those words. It really sucks and no one should have to hear those words at such a young age. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that things turn around drastically for you.


  3. Hi Rach,

    I'm so sorry to hear your news, I can imagine what your going through. I wish you all the best and pray that something will come along. God willing. Advocate from LLTGL Nyila x Sending lots of hugs x

  4. Thinking of you, Rach. Miracles do happen so hold that thought for a little longer.

    Audrey xx

  5. You are in my thoughts and prayers!!

    Don't give up, as I am a walking wiracle myself.

    Keep your faith, as God works in ways we don't understand.